Hurt People
Jul 23, 2023 16:57:27 GMT
Post by Harvey Francis on Jul 23, 2023 16:57:27 GMT
The camera opens to a basement, the walls covered in old wrestling posters and pop culture memorabilia. A couple couches line the bottoms of the walls, with a large table in the center, with two microphones stationed in front of each couch. A camera is setup, facing the two couches. On one couch sits Harvey Francis, dressed in his cleanest dirty shirt. Across from him, Bob Regan, dressed to the nines in a fresh suit and a clean haircut.
Bob Regan: What is this, Harvey?
Harvey Francis:My podcast studio.
Bob Regan: People tend to listen to podcasts, correct?
Harvey Francis: Yeah dude, but with TikTok, Instagram Reels, and that YouTube Shorts shit, people don’t have the attention spans to just *listen* anymore.
Regan nods, though he has no idea what any of those things are, outside of simply the word YouTube.
Bob Regan: I believe my son watches Tikstagram.
Harvey Francis: Cool man. Let’s talk about what the people have been asking us about for the past week, eh? What was the big bad wrestling coach you sent us to train with?
Bob Regan: I have no recollection of any incidents occuring with the two of us outside of work, aside from this “podcast” recording currently.
Harvey Francis: Come on, Bob -
Bob Regan: Mister Regan.
Harvey Francis: Come on, Bob - tell us about how you sent us to go train with a guy … IN A FUCKING BMW DEALERSHIP!!!
Bob stays stoic as ever as Harvey laughs his ass off. After a solid minute and a half of laughter, Harvey finally collects himself, returning to the conversation at hand.
Harvey Francis: The place had to have been abandoned for like ten years, and the dude was off his rocker. He kept hitting me with a belt n shit, it was awful.
Bob Regan: I knocked him out.
Harvey Francis: Thanks for that, by the way.
Bob Regan: It was not for your benefit. He was meditating when I first entered the building. Meditation is a sign of weakness in a man’s physical ability, though I do believe in the strength it gives a man’s constitution and mental fortitude.
Harvey Francis: So you hit him because you thought he was a weak hippy and not because he was assaulting your tag team partner.
Bob Regan: Precisely.
Harvey Francis: I thought you said you *didn’t* hate me.
Bob Regan: Because I don't. I am repulsed by your ability to try and be friends with everyone. You are exactly like everyone who was given the quarterly raises, so chipper, so care-free, unwilling to do the work because you are too busy trying to make everyone love you. That is why you are not successful. You have a gift and do not use it! No one loves me, Harvey ...
Harvey Francis: Oh really, I hadn’t noticed.
Bob Regan: ... because I have what it takes to be a successful individual. I know what needs to be done to get the job done. Do you think Prudent Packaging would be the fourth largest company in our field in Nevada if not for what I have done for them? I get gritty, I dig down deep and do the things that people like YOU are too weak to do! When that man was whipping you, Harvey, you did not fight back! When you were blindsided in the brawl last week, you just sat there and took it! Not like a man, but like a god-damn coward!
Regan’s fist comes down on the table, causing it to break in half. Harvey leaps up from his seat, his eyes glued on Regan’s bulging forehead.
Bob Regan: I may not be a successful individual when it comes to RAZOR Wrestling - but I am not letting you stop me from becoming one. If I am forced to team with you to become a success story in this line of work … then I will - but I will not have some child cry and whine about having to team with me, because whether you enjoy it or not, Harvey - you are a PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER - and professional wrestlers do what they are meant to do - and that is WRESTLE!!!
Regan stands, adjusting his suit, wiping the wood chips off his sleeve.
Bob Regan: I do not want the Harvey Francis I have had to deal with the past few days to be my partner in this tournament. The reason I declared our victory in the first place is because you and I - whether we like it or not - are stuck on the same path. Success is not in our favor. Others have been put before us, and we are angry. Our opposition in this tournament has not seen the type of anger that brews in a man when he is told day in and day out for thirty four years that the vice president position that he had been promised since his tenth anniversary with his company was given to the twenty nine year old college dropout that was sleeping around with the boss’s wife since that year’s company Christmas party - or the anger of a young man who has had to hop trains just to eat a meal, because he had no clue whether he was going to wake up in the morning, because everyone in his life had passed him over for someone else. I am not going to pass you over, Harvey Francis … but you need to realize something; this is not about making friends. This is not a game. If we want to win this thing … we will need to hurt people.
Harvey nods sheepishly, putting a hand out to Regan.
Harvey Francis: … I don’t like it, but you’re right. Let’s hurt people.
Bob Regan: What is this, Harvey?
Harvey Francis:My podcast studio.
Bob Regan: People tend to listen to podcasts, correct?
Harvey Francis: Yeah dude, but with TikTok, Instagram Reels, and that YouTube Shorts shit, people don’t have the attention spans to just *listen* anymore.
Regan nods, though he has no idea what any of those things are, outside of simply the word YouTube.
Bob Regan: I believe my son watches Tikstagram.
Harvey Francis: Cool man. Let’s talk about what the people have been asking us about for the past week, eh? What was the big bad wrestling coach you sent us to train with?
Bob Regan: I have no recollection of any incidents occuring with the two of us outside of work, aside from this “podcast” recording currently.
Harvey Francis: Come on, Bob -
Bob Regan: Mister Regan.
Harvey Francis: Come on, Bob - tell us about how you sent us to go train with a guy … IN A FUCKING BMW DEALERSHIP!!!
Bob stays stoic as ever as Harvey laughs his ass off. After a solid minute and a half of laughter, Harvey finally collects himself, returning to the conversation at hand.
Harvey Francis: The place had to have been abandoned for like ten years, and the dude was off his rocker. He kept hitting me with a belt n shit, it was awful.
Bob Regan: I knocked him out.
Harvey Francis: Thanks for that, by the way.
Bob Regan: It was not for your benefit. He was meditating when I first entered the building. Meditation is a sign of weakness in a man’s physical ability, though I do believe in the strength it gives a man’s constitution and mental fortitude.
Harvey Francis: So you hit him because you thought he was a weak hippy and not because he was assaulting your tag team partner.
Bob Regan: Precisely.
Harvey Francis: I thought you said you *didn’t* hate me.
Bob Regan: Because I don't. I am repulsed by your ability to try and be friends with everyone. You are exactly like everyone who was given the quarterly raises, so chipper, so care-free, unwilling to do the work because you are too busy trying to make everyone love you. That is why you are not successful. You have a gift and do not use it! No one loves me, Harvey ...
Harvey Francis: Oh really, I hadn’t noticed.
Bob Regan: ... because I have what it takes to be a successful individual. I know what needs to be done to get the job done. Do you think Prudent Packaging would be the fourth largest company in our field in Nevada if not for what I have done for them? I get gritty, I dig down deep and do the things that people like YOU are too weak to do! When that man was whipping you, Harvey, you did not fight back! When you were blindsided in the brawl last week, you just sat there and took it! Not like a man, but like a god-damn coward!
Regan’s fist comes down on the table, causing it to break in half. Harvey leaps up from his seat, his eyes glued on Regan’s bulging forehead.
Bob Regan: I may not be a successful individual when it comes to RAZOR Wrestling - but I am not letting you stop me from becoming one. If I am forced to team with you to become a success story in this line of work … then I will - but I will not have some child cry and whine about having to team with me, because whether you enjoy it or not, Harvey - you are a PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER - and professional wrestlers do what they are meant to do - and that is WRESTLE!!!
Regan stands, adjusting his suit, wiping the wood chips off his sleeve.
Bob Regan: I do not want the Harvey Francis I have had to deal with the past few days to be my partner in this tournament. The reason I declared our victory in the first place is because you and I - whether we like it or not - are stuck on the same path. Success is not in our favor. Others have been put before us, and we are angry. Our opposition in this tournament has not seen the type of anger that brews in a man when he is told day in and day out for thirty four years that the vice president position that he had been promised since his tenth anniversary with his company was given to the twenty nine year old college dropout that was sleeping around with the boss’s wife since that year’s company Christmas party - or the anger of a young man who has had to hop trains just to eat a meal, because he had no clue whether he was going to wake up in the morning, because everyone in his life had passed him over for someone else. I am not going to pass you over, Harvey Francis … but you need to realize something; this is not about making friends. This is not a game. If we want to win this thing … we will need to hurt people.
Harvey nods sheepishly, putting a hand out to Regan.
Harvey Francis: … I don’t like it, but you’re right. Let’s hurt people.