Fire Breather (ZILPAH OKELO)

“Yeah well I ain’t fuckin’ worried about it because I don’t sweat any of ‘em.” Zilpah Okelo says. She has her feet kicked up on the desk in the booth of SINergy 97.5. She is wearing gigantic black sunglasses and a fur coat, despite being in the desert. Across from her are the hosts of the MORNING REPENT; Kima Kendrick and Fresh Boost.

“But like you haven’t been winning a whole lot, girl. Dumped on by PJ Lemon, run through by Persona Non Grata. You know I love you but goddamn…it’s gettin’ hard to watch.” Kima says. Z doesn’t flinch. She never flinches. She’s used to people doubting her, she doesn’t let it get to her. Kima is just doing her job, saying what needs to be said.

“Facts. Can’t say they aren’t. But it’s like this; you gotta suffer some setbacks to really understand your power, get me? Sure I ain’t won in months. Hell, I ain’t been booked since middle June. But what you think? I’ve just been sitting around rubbing on myself? Nah. I’ve been in the gym, I’ve been doin’ the work. Y’all gonna see what I’ve been up to when I blast this bitch SHADOJIMA on the 30th.” Z says, arrogant as ever.

“Yo but I’ve seen this dude. He looks baaaad, know what I’m sayin’? Guy is huge, looks like a dragon or sum. You ready for that, Z?” Fresh Boost says in his gravelly, sing-song way.

Z sucks her teeth and takes her feet off of the desk. She pushes her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose and stares past the microphone at Fresh Boost.

“A fuckin’ dragon? For real with this shit? Listen up, I know RAZOR is a fucked up place. I been here since day one. I’m Original 8, get me? Ain’t nothin’ pops up in this fed that can shake me. I don’t give a fuck if this bitch breathes actual fire. Because I do too.” Z says. “I’ve looked him over and I ain’t impressed. Godzilla takes his orders from some little girl, who the fuck can respect that? Be your own Kaiju, brother. I don’t need to take orders from no one because I know what to do and how to do it. Gonna drop Gojira in a fuckin’ ice bath and set my sights higher than his big, dumb ass.”

“Okay okay I hear you,” Kima says. “But then what? You tryna go after PJ Lemon again? Or maybe that Irish dude?”

Z exhales sharply with a smile on her face. She pushes her sunglasses back up and gives Kima a dismissive wave of the hand. “I ain’t got a problem with Duffy. He put that Juggalo bitch in a grave and that popped me big. He’s cool for now. But yeah, I’ve got unfinished business with Sour Puss. She fucked me up good last time. I owe her a goddamn receipt for that shit.”

Both Fresh Boost and Kima give an “Oooh…” and Z just smiles.

“Don’t think I’m looking past the Lizard King because I ain’t doin’ that. Imma put him to bed, no doubt, but I know what I’m in for. It ain’t gonna be easy, no way in hell. But I’ve got shit to do and I can’t let some new motherfucker put down an Original 8. Lemon is the only one of us with a good record and Imma change that. Imma get what’s mine and it all starts over again on Episode 9.” Z says. She takes off her headphones and stands up. Before long, she’s out of the studio.

“You heard it here first folks, Zilpah Okelo is on the warpath. You can check her out this Sunday, RAZOR Wrestling on GRBG LIVE from the Bobby Shitake Arena. We got weather, traffic, and death notices comin’ up next. Keep it locked to SINergy 97.5.” Fresh Boost says.