Shotgun Episode #7

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RAZOR
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Posts: 211

Shotgun Episode #7 Sept 15, 2023 19:11:43 GMT

Post by RAZOR on Sept 15, 2023 19:11:43 GMT

Sunday September 17th, 2023
Connie Gibbs Arena in Manchester, England
Streaming on YouTube

DEADLINE: Saturday September 23rd, 2023 @ 11:59EST
Shotgun does not become canon until the thread is locked at Deadline.

RINGSIDE

The United Kingdom Wrestling fans are going wild inside Connie Gibbs Arena as RAZOR Wrestling brings you Episode #7 of Shotgun from Manchester, England!

DICK DELAURIER: Welcome wrestling fans one and all to RAZOR Wrestling Shotgun right here on YouTube. We are here at the Connie Gibbs Arena in Manchester, England! I'm Dick Delaurier alongside my broadcast colleague Fiona Metz!

FIONA METZ: What a miserable fucking country. Can we leave already?

DICK DELAURIER: This is our first of two shows here...so no. Did you not grow up right here in Manchester? Were you not meant to be the cornerstone of this promotion, your father's promotion?

FIONA METZ: What's with all the bloody questions? (gasps) Look what you've done ya wanker, my accent is comin' back!

DICK DELAURIER: I don't mean to upset you, Fiona. You have quite the following here.

FIONA METZ: You mean all the signs that say "Die, Fiona, Die"? These muppets are still mad that I fucked off to the U.S. Buncha tossers, innit?

DICK DELAURIER: Will you be speaking like this for the duration of our stay?

FIONA METZ: I bleedin' 'ope not!

DICK DELAURIER: Shame. It's very entertaining.

FIONA METZ: I don't wanna be 'ere. These cunts don't want me 'ere. I should just sod off.

DICK DELAURIER: You can't. We have a job to do.

FIONA METZ: Right then. On ya bike.

DICK DELAURIER: Wrestling fans we aren't going to waste one more second of your time, let's get to the action!

FIONA METZ: (whispering) Wanker.

Josh Mac
New Member

Posts: 2

Shotgun Episode #7 Sept 19, 2023 0:31:21 GMT

Post by Josh Mac on Sept 19, 2023 0:31:21 GMT

TAG TEAM MATCH

THE YOKELS vs. JOSH MAC & REID ASHFORD

DICK DELAURIER: We are opening the evening with some tag team action! Out first are our very own RAZOR Wrestling tag team tandem of Billy Bumpkin and Rustic Rowan… the Yokels! These two are former UWK talent-

FIONA METZ: And, I have no idea why they ended up signing to RAZOR Wrestling of all places.

“The Boys Are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzy blasts over the sound system to the delight of the crowd. The two mammoths, both radiating with pride, march towards the ring.

DICK DELAURIER: This is their first time back in the United Kingdom in many years, and they are hoping to make a statement for the Manchester crowd.

FIONA METZ: Well, they should have hoped harder…

Before The Yokels could make it into the squared circle they were met with a bit of a roadblock. Josh Mac and Reid Ashford jump over the guardrail and simultaneously obliterate Bumpkin and Rowan with devastating chair shots to the back. Mac and Ashford both look haunted in their approach. They take the chairs and smash them down over their opponents once again.

*CRACK*

*CRACK*

FIONA METZ: CONTAGION IS IN THE UK!

Mac and Ashford do not waste any time, grabbing the bigger men from behind. Mac tosses Bumpkin head first into the ring steps, while Ashford launches Rowan into the ring post. Rowan’s forehead is split open as blood trickles into his eyes. Ashford quickly follows that up with a high knee strike, sending Rowan into the guard rail.

FIONA METZ: Not the homecoming Billy and Rowan were hoping for!

The onslaught continues as the smaller Josh Mac grabs hold of Billy Bumpkin and starts walking him up the entrance way – every chance he gets, he smashes Bumpkin’s head against the guard rail. Mac heaves the bigger man into the backstage area, and follows him like a rabid dog.

Reid Ashford has his way with Rustic Rowan as he launches him into a set of steel chairs amidst the crowd. Ashford is methodical in his assault, and pummels him with overhand rights and lefts, bullying Rowan out of the Connie Gibbs Arena. The UK crowd pours on a raucous of boo’s and jeers.

DICK DELAURIER: Well, it doesn’t look like we’ll be having our opening contest after all. Mac and Ashford with a pure thrashing on the Yokels, ruining their return to the UK. This one is chalked up as a No Contest…

FIONA METZ: Most importantly Contagion is sending a message to the rest of the roster… no one is safe.

Last Edit: Sept 19, 2023 0:32:16 GMT by Josh Mac

Roxie Dixon
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Posts: 4

Shotgun Episode #7 Sept 20, 2023 1:39:39 GMT

Post by Roxie Dixon on Sept 20, 2023 1:39:39 GMT

VIGNETTE

We cut away from the action to an unnamed bar, a relic of a bygone era: a gritty, dimly lit dive that oozes rebellion and echoes with the memories of countless wild nights. The crowd is clad in leather, denim and faded band tees, carrying themselves with cool confidence. A smoky haze hangs in the air, adding to the atmosphere of raw energy.

We swerve through the bar until we see her: a blonde all in black leather and a studded baseball cap, slouched in a booth, holding a shot of some brown liquid in her hand. In case there was any question what was in the shot glass, there is a helpful bottle of Jack Daniel's on the table, already about half drained. As the camera settles on her, she flashes a 1000 megawatt grin.

ROXIE DIXON: Ladies and germs, everyone in between, and all you crazy mother-lovers out there, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Roxie Dixon, the Queen of the Sunset Strip, and I'm here to do one thing and one thing only. And that's to rock this joint.

She pauses for dramatic effect, letting the anticipation build as she throws back her shot, immediately pouring herself another.

ROXIE DIXON: You see, sweethearts, I didn't come here to play nice, to be the obedient little servile one, to pay my dues and just get in line. I didn't come here to be polite. Naw, that never suited me. Instead, I came to set this whole thing on fire, and then dance amongst the ashes.

She holds up her shot, eyeing it with consideration before she continues.

ROXIE DIXON: Don't believe me? Ask around! I've danced on the rooftops of Hollywood, I've bathed in the neon lights of the city of angels, and I've partied with every legend of metal you can name. But my next conquest? Well that is a little different. Tonight, I step out into the grandest stage of them: Razor Wrestling!

She lifts her shot in a bit of a toast, downs it, and immediately pours herself another in her best Keith Richards routine.

ROXIE DIXON: Now truth be told, old Roxie has been around the block a few times, so it's not exactly uncharted territory. But if you wanna rise to the ranks of legends, you gotta go where the best is. And that's unquestionably Razor. So I called 'em up, told them I was available, and the rest is history.

She gestures around her at the smoky bar for a second.

ROXIE DIXON You see, this might be my typical arena, my homebase. But now I take that, and bring it to the ring. And make no mistake, every match with my name on it is the headlining act! I'm about to turn the whole Razor Wrestling world on it's head so fast you won't know what to make of it. So whether you love me or hate me, you better strap in, 'cause it's gonna be a helluva ride!

She raises her shot, taking one last swig of the bourbon before tossing the shotglass behind her, causing it to shatter.

ROXIE DIXON: And anyone who takes exception to that prediction, well, all I can say is step upa and prove me wrong. But just be ready to be dragged into headbanger's hell, and hope to God you can survive it. As for me?

She simply throws up the devil horns.

ROXIE DIXON: I got another guy on my side. See ya soon, darlings. And lets the rock keep rollin'.

With a final, defiant look at the camera, Roxie Dixon stands from her booth and storms off, her logo flashing on screen before we cut back to the in-ring action.

Nana Productions
New Member

Posts: 8

Shotgun Episode #7 Sept 21, 2023 3:43:08 GMT

Post by Nana Productions on Sept 21, 2023 3:43:08 GMT

Rather unexpectedly, Connie Gibbs Arena is filled with the sound of "Land of Hope and Glory". Instead of a night at the proms, it signifies the arrival of an entire retinue. First a small maid with twintails and a push broom. Next comes a suave, androgynously handsome butler carrying a silver platter in one hand and a flagpole with a large Union Jack in the other. Finally a tall, surly looking man in fancy white ring gear emerges. The golden championship belt around his waist prominently features a lion on its center plate. He glowers into the camera before following his servants, drawing mostly boos despite clearly being British.

FIONA METZ: I'm stunned that the man 47th in line for the throne is in this dump.

DICK DELAURIER: Ladies and gentlemen, this is unprecedented. For the first time ever we have a big name from the Southern Wrestling Federation. He also happens to be one of the most hated men in professional wrestling. This man has committed what many people would consider the wrestling equivalent of war crimes.

FIONA METZ: You call it war crimes, but it's clear he's just responding firmly to unfair treatment.

Turnbuckle ascended the ring steps, then refused to enter the ring until his maid and butler held the middle rope open to him. Once he's finally in the ring, Turnbuckle shoots a glare at the timekeeper. Immediately his butler, George, strides over and holds out a hand. The timekeeper reluctantly hands the mic to George, who then places it on the patter. He climbs into the ring and holds the platter out, from which Turnbuckle seizes the mic. The nobleman sneers as the camera centers on him.

BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE: Ladies and gentlemen of Britain, at long last I've returned home. Finally the Lord of the Ring has arrived in a proper British ring. And he's returned as a world champion who deserves your respect and admiration.

There's some scattered applause, most loudly from George and his maid Matilda. A handful of boos can be heard from the crowd, which perturbs the already aggravated Lord of the Ring. His grip tightens around the mic.

BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE: Oh, is that all the thanks I get for putting my body on the line for the sake of the Crown? Is that how you treat someone who's been the victim of heinous plotting by the entire Southern Wrestling Federation? I expect that from the knuckle dragging swamp creatures in Tennessee, and especially from that villain Nelson Hammer, but from my own countrymen?! How DARE you.

This elicits more boos as he continues.

BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE: I come all the way home and allow myself to slum it by coming to Manchester, yet you fail to recognize the greatness that is Sir Boliver Turnbuckle? The rightful SWF Tag Team Champion and reigning KCW WORLD Champion?! This is disgraceful. I ought to just leave and deprive you of my presence! But an Englishman never backs down from a fight. So despite your disrespect, I shall continue.

He motions to George, who steps forward to remove the belt from around Turnbuckle’s waist. The Lord of the Ring pulls it out of the butler’s hands and hefts it onto his shoulder.

BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE: Do you see THIS? THIS is a proper world championship, and one which Hammer and his slimy sycophant yes men have no power over. Despite the best efforts of an entire company against me, I remain a champion! I’m feeling generous, too, so to celebrate that fact I’m issuing an open challenge to the first person to walk through that curtain. Whoever it is will earn themselves a shot at the KCW World Championship right here, right now!

The shock announcement draws some cheers, but none for Turnbuckle himself.

DICK DELAURIER: Wow! An open challenge for a world title right here on Shotgun? Tonight gets more and more historic. Even if KCW no longer exists and the belt isn’t recognized by SWF.

FIONA METZ: Either he’s a true fighting champion or he’s just come here for an easy title defense to boost his ego. Either way it’s a fine example of British nobility.

Turnbuckle smirks and waggles his finger.

BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE: Under the following conditions. Firstly, as this proper British championship isn’t an SWF title, no one currently under contract with SWF may challenge for it. Secondly, this being a British title, no American can even CONSIDER answering the open challenge. All you Yanks in the back can stay there. Everyone else, the door is open. Who thinks they’re a hero?

There’s silence for a long moment as Turnbuckle lifts the title up and admires his reflection in its center plate. Matilda and George applaud his rules while the fans boo. Finally music hits - very familiar music to 80s music aficionados and local fans alike. “Hero” plays and out walks Saya Onikawa, smiling confidently but eyes wide as if she’s not quite sure what to make of the place.

DICK DELAURIER: Well business just picked up. Turnbuckle might’ve been looking for an easy fight but instead he’s getting one of the brightest young stars in the sport. This is Saya Onikawa, a young woman who held the second most prestigious belt in Queendom Joshi Pro Wrestling. She’s been touring the UK since May and if anyone could shock the Lord of the Ring, it’s the Shining Hero.

FIONA METZ: Why does she look like she wandered in here accidentally?

Saya proceeds down the ramp, wide eyed look morphing into one of pleasant confidence. At the bottom of the ramp she plays to the crowd, arms out to either side. The cheers grow a little louder as she circles the ring slapping outstretched hands. A few moments later she’s climbed to the top rope and points to the fans who by now are fully in her corner. Turnbuckle glares at the woman and then jabs George in the shoulder. George nods and begins to remove his suit, revealing a black crop top; he begins to limber up as Turnbuckle smirks.

BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE: Very well. You’ll fight for this title.

Saya blinks in surprise and points to herself.

BOLIVER TURNBUCKLE: You’ll fight my combat butler George for this title.

The crowd boos as the Lord of the Ring extricates himself from the ring and Big Mouth Mindy steps up to do her job.

BIG MOUTH MINDY: The following contest is a no disqualification match with one fall, and it is for the KCW World Championship! Introducing first, the challenger: from Saitama, Japan, she is the Shining Hero.. Saya Onikawa!

BIG MOUTH MINDY: And her opponent, fighting in place of Sir Boliver Turnbuckle, from.. Turnbuckle Manor, I guess? He is defending the KCW World Championship: George!

SINGLES MATCH - KCW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP

"GEORGE" vs. SAYA ONIKAWA

Saya steps to the center of the ring to offer a handshake, but receives on a sweeping bow from George in response. The Shining Hero shrugs and the ref calls for the bell. With the championship match on, Saya circles the butler. George’s face is stoic to a fault and it’s Saya who begins the offense by unloading a forearm strike to the chest. George responds with a firm slap to the face that just fires up Saya even more. She unleashes several strikes and then lands a kick so stiff that it echoes throughout the arena! George slumps to the ground and Saya calls for the crowd to clap. They do and she runs the ropes to build momentum before nailing George with a basement dropkick. George falls back through the ropes and Saya pulls him back in to go for the cover.

One.

Two.

Th- the ref notices George’s foot on the ropes, placed there a moment before by Matilda!

DICK DELAURIER: This is going to be an uphill battle for the Shining Hero. George doesn’t seem to have much in the way of fighting skill but Boliver Turnbuckle and Matilda are absolutely going to get involved.

FIONA METZ: If she’s as good as you said, she’ll be fine fighting against a maid, a butler and one actual wrestler. Stop being so dramatic, wanker.

Saya hops back to her feet and measures the butler as he regains composure. He throws a measured punch which she rolls through, running the ropes to get that momentum - and she falls face first on the rebound as Matilda trips her! The fans boo but the ref didn’t see it. George takes a few steps back and then rushes forward, hitting a surprisingly crisp knee drop. Saya clutches her neck in anguish as George presses the attack, hitting a series of kicks to her neck and throat. Once she’s up he snap mares her into a sitting position and then nearly takes her head off with a buzzsaw kick. He goes for the cover!

One.

Two.

Saya counters into a roll up!

One.

Two..

George kicks out!

FIONA METZ: In Italy we saw a beefy cult member fight an idol, and in Britain we’ve got a butler who can actually fight against a woman who doesn’t seem like she knew what she was getting into. Bloody marvelous.

DICK DELAURIER: Saya Onikawa’s in trouble here, but it’s only because of that numbers game. George does seem capable though - he seems focused now that the gremlin at ringside has turned the balance of power in his favor.

Saya attempts to get to her feet but George immediately kicks her arm and locks in an STF! Saya screams in pain at the pressure being placed on her neck but keeps shaking her head when the ref checks on her. The young veteran claws into the mat and slowly crawls over toward the ropes. George attempts to wrench the hold but his grip slips and Saya manages to escape. She wastes no time getting to her feet and nails George with a belly to back suplex. George recovers fairly quickly but then eats a RHINOPLASTY! He’s down and Saya shouts with fire in her voice!

Just as the crowd begins to get behind her, Matilda climbs to the apron and attracts the ref’s attention by straightening out his collar. Meanwhile Turnbuckle rolls into the ring and hits an EARL GREY TEA (-BONE) SUPLEX on Saya! He then screams at George, who crawls over to cover Saya. Matilda pats the ref on the cheek and hops down - the ref sees the cover!

One.

Two.

Thr- Saya kicks out at 2.9!

FIONA METZ: However she kicked out, this girl’s done. She’s dead after that move from Turnbuckle.

George staggers to his feet, brushing dust from his arms and preparing for some big final move. Saya is unmoving for several moments, the kick out seeming to have taken a lot out of her. As George draws near she suddenly kips up with a furious scream. She eats a punch but knocks George back with a roundhouse kick!

DICK DELAURIER: She’s revived! The Shining Hero isn’t finished yet!

Saya dodges a tired punch, kicks George in the gut and then hits a stunner! She eyes the top rope and rushes up it as the crowd cheers her on. Saya calls out “FINISH!” as she prepares for the Nova Crash, but George struggles up to his feet and Matilda holds onto Saya’s leg to anchor her in place. George uses this opportunity to climb to the top rope where he exchanges surprisingly courteous blows with Saya as Matilda hops to the arena floor.

Turnbuckle barks instructions to Matilda, who grabs the silver platter in her hands. Then at his insistence, she circles the ring like a hobgoblin hopped up on meth mixed with a lifetime supply of 5 Hour Energy. George remains on the top rope, exchanging courteous blows with Saya. Saya begins to take the advantage, George slipping just a bit. Turnbuckle suddenly climbs onto the ring apron and berates the referee while Matilda climbs onto the apron with the platter in hand. She raises it up and brings it down hard - on George as Saya ducks out of the way! The platter bends in half and Matilda clutches her cheeks in horror as the referee turns away from Turnbuckle. In this moment, Saya flips over George, landing underneath him and lifting him onto her shoulders. With a furious scream she moves to the middle of the ring and then falls back with full force - CRITICLASH! She gets all of it!

ONE.

TWO..

THREE!!!

BIG MOUTH MINDY: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner and apparently NEEEEEEW KCW World Champion, Sayaaa Onikawaaaa!

George rolls out of the ring to the floor where Matilda still stands, hands on her head and jaw dropped at what’s happened. The fans cheer the surprise victory as Turnbuckle storms over and berates his two servants. He shouts something about “THIS DOESN’T COUNT” and then “GET THE BACKUP!” as he storms out of the building followed by the loopy George and the horrified Matilda. Meanwhile Saya sits up in the ring, eyes wide in disbelief as she’s handed the title. She clutches it close and smiles triumphantly as the ref holds her hand up.

DICK DELAURIER: Just like that we apparently have a new champion! I’m not sure if a title can change hands like this but Saya Onikawa’s first night in Razor sees her become a world champion!

FIONA METZ: How many world champions does this make? There’s at least three, and this one can’t be sanctioned can it?

Regardless, Saya holds the belt close as “Hero” plays and the fans mostly cheer. As she climbs out of the ring, though, she meets the gaze of Nana Tsukina, resplendent in a bright green suit. Nana claps enthusiastically, then nods to the back in invitation. Saya carries her new belt back with her, seemingly oblivious to the world around her as she goes to meet the veteran. At the top of the rap she poses with the belt, her arm held up by Nana as the scene fades out.

Adam García
New Member

Posts: 15

Shotgun Episode #7 Sept 22, 2023 16:52:14 GMT

Post by Adam García on Sept 22, 2023 16:52:14 GMT

BACKSTAGE

Following the last match and after a short period of advertisement, the cameras turned on once again in the Connie Gibbs Arena, the spotlight being on one of UWK's new recruits, King Kaiden.

Three years ago Kaiden was one of the cornerstones of Ichiban Pro Wrestling, and in fact, became IPW's second longest reigning champion, trailing only behind the actual protagonist of this story, Adam Garcia, also known as "The Spanish Ace" as well as being known in his hometown of Andalucia as the "King Slayer".

As García wrestled around the world, Kaiden was forced to momentarily retire due to injuries sustained in their title match, only making his return to the ring early in 2023. The pent-up anger from all these years would finally be released, as Metz had arranged a three year in the making match between "King" and "Ace"

Contrary to Kaiden who was looking forward to his imminent vendetta, García was worried, not for Kaiden though, he had beaten him before and would do it again, but because of his unluckiness he seemed to undergo at Razor Wrestling when it came to title matches, among the backstage crew some even dare to comment that it wasn't just bad luck, rather a curse.

"Curses are meant to be broken...Don't be pessimistic Adam, just win today then win tomorrow, and repeat the cycle. Okay, I got this." muttered Adam, as he finished his preparation ahead of his upcoming bout.

SINGLES

ADAM GARCÍA vs. KING KAIDEN

DICK DELAURIER: We continue the night with a showdown featuring King Kaiden, and the "King Slayer" himself, Adam Garcia.

FIONA METZ: Am I the only one who thinks Garcia's taste for nicknames suck?

DICK DELAURIER: Any suggestions?

Fiona is interrupted by Big Mouth Mendy, who introduces King Kaiden who after finishing up his entrance to the tune of Orlean's "Cualquiera diría", remains in the centre of the ring awaiting his opponent. Shortly after his opponent for the night, Adam Garcia enters the arena.

The two men await in their respective corners, the tension rising in the air with every second. Following the bell, the two fighters commence a non-stop beating on each other in the middle of the ring , between the punches, Garcia tries to take Kaiden down with a Snapmare which Kaiden avoids at the last second seizing the opportunity by elbowing Garcia right into the ribs but Garcia counters by stomping him and smashing him in the face with a forearm which triggers yet another battle of guts between the pair ending with Garcia landing a Running V Trigger on King which unbalances his opponent allowing the King Slayer to connect with a Rolling Lariat that ends with them both on the floor.

Several seconds later, both approach opposite ropes in an attempt of getting up, with Kaiden taking advantage by connecting with "Lanza de Aquiles" (spear) which sends both back down to the canvas. King rolls on top of Garcia as the referee starts the count.

DICK DELAURIER:Garcia's winning streak ended a mere couple of weeks ago, today his losing streak might begin instead.

ONE....TWOOOO....Thr-

As the referee's hand comes down to hit the mat, the shoulders of Garcia rise at 2.9 as he wraps Kaiden in a Guillotine Choke. A split reaction from the crowd of cheers and boos arises as Kaiden slowly fades in and out of consciousness.

DICK DELAURIER: It ain't over yet, The Ace keeps fighting!

Kaiden slowly gets up carrying Garcia and attempts to apply a Slingshot Powerbomb that Garcia then reverses into a Hurracarrana sending King crashing down outside ringside, "The King Slayer" takes the opportunity to go for a Suicide Dive and then tosses Kaiden back into the ring where he begins to prepare to hit with his finishing move "Iberian Glory" (Liontamer) the very same move which injured Kaiden three years ago, which instinctively has Kaiden slamming the canvas in agony multiple times causing him to lose the match.

BIG MOUTH MINDY: Here is your winner, ADAM GARCÍIIAAAAA!

Garcia immediately releases Kaiden and waits for the referee to raise his hand. King slowly manages to get up and approaches Garcia offering him a handshake which Adam seriously considers refusing but ends up accepting.

Last Edit: Sept 23, 2023 20:38:49 GMT by Adam García

Peregrina Loca
New Member

Posts: 11

Shotgun Episode #7 Sept 23, 2023 19:13:48 GMT

Post by Peregrina Loca on Sept 23, 2023 19:13:48 GMT

ARENA

There's no music, just the bellow of a whisky-charred, chain-smoking voice from behind the curtain:

"OGGY OGGY OGGY!"

A multitude of beer-bellied football hooligans bellow back:

"OI OI OI!"

And out bursts Sybil "Super Sket" Smythe, painfully aware that this is her country and her crowd, scandalously clad in a skimpy 'Catholic school girl' costume with her tits popping most of the way out and a long, carelessly-draped necktie bouncing to and fro off the exuberant sashay of her hips. If an entire body could grin, it's Sybil's, and lasciviously at that. She knows what you're thinking...

And she bloody loves it. "OGGY!" She bellows again, and the crowd oblige with the requisite, "OI!" This goes on for a bit too long, before with a final, "OI OI OIIIIIII!" She calms herself down, flips her hair and gestures for a microphone, tapping it to generate a squeal of feedback before she sway-struts toward the ring, tipping winks at the men who reach out to her and spitting at the ones who don't. The microphone picks up all of the phlegmy noises it can from her poor, stricken throat, and she knows this, too.

SUPER SKET: 'Ello, you bloody beautiful bastards. Did you miss me?

The crowd knows what she wants, and most of them scream, "FUCK NO!!" Louder than the simps can do the exact thing Sybil's not really trying to achieve, here. She grins all the wider, and picks something out of her teeth, flicking it into the front row.

SUPER SKET: Thought so, you dirty fuckers. So alright, ya wankers, we're out 'ere to discuss 'ow this, ravishing, 'ome-wrecking, scintillatin' behemoth of a brazen bombshell--

The response is mixed cheers and boos... and a rain of trash that she dances through the middle of, hips a-writhing.

SUPER SKET: --ain't your main event, cuz that skeezy fuck-faced so-called 'champion' and that other, skeezy, fuck-faced, so-called 'champion' with a bloody dead badger glued to 'is ugly mug... they're yer main event, yeah? The fuck is that about?

"WE JUST WORK HERE!" clap-clap-clapclapclap "WE JUST WORK HERE!"

SUPER SKET: YOU AIN'T WORKED A DAY IN YER MISERABLE LIVES! AhaHahahaHAHAhurrrrr!

Her laugh is horrible. It's really bad. It ends with like, a camel inhaling a Camel? And choking on it? Someone shut her up.

SUPER SKET: Nah really though, shut it, I wanna see who the fuck is this fuckin' low-rent skank who reckons she deserves not only to 'ave a match with me, your rightful challenger to the only belt that bloody matters, but also reckons she deserves to come out after me? And 'ave music? Uhhh, management, 'ello? I ain't 'ad music ever!? The only music these luvverly arseholes get to 'ear is my beautiful lips smacking and remindin' 'em of their muvvers!

Boo! Boo this woman! She mentioned your mums!

SUPER SKET: Yeah, yeah, shut up and play 'er stupid ethnic music or whatever.

BIG MOUTH MINDY: The following contest--

SUPER SKET: OGGY OGGY OGGY!

Sybil cuts off the woman, the myth, the legend, and the crowd try to do their bit back but Mindy ain't having none of that fuckery.

BIG MOUTH MINDY: IS FOR ONE FALL! PLEASE WELCOME, FROM ANYWHERE BUT THIS MISERABLE, DAMP ISLAND... ARAÑA! OSCURAAAAAA!

SINGLES MATCH

SUPER SKET vs. ARAÑA OSCURA

The former Destructora, and recently-anointed Super Destructora on a two-match winning streak stumbles out under the bright lights, catching her breath as she pauses to look back and realizes - she's alone, for the first time ever. There's no parade of rough, tough Mexican sisters to back her up - and no Peregrina Loca to tell her it'll be okay. Sisterless, motherless, she stands alone.

Momentarily, she toys with a braid of her hair, and then slowly smiles, her confidence growing as the beat picks up and many of the crowd rally behind the clear babyface. It may be an unruly crowd full of oiks, but they love pro wrestling - and nothing says pro wrestling like the perpetual underdog finding her feet. Like the bad girl who finds her way, and comes good.

Oscura breaks into a dash, Smythe already backing across the ring, begging off the Mexican girl as she slides under the bottom rope, leaps up with a grin of her own and dives at the other woman with an explosive dropsault! She springs up from all fours, spins and catches her opponent careening off the ropes with a quickly-improvised rolling wheel kick. Super Sket smashes the mat with her hands, frantically scampering away as she over-sells the move with a look of utter shock and horror on her face.

"FUCKIN' NAH!" She screams, trying to ward off the re-encroaching Araña with an outstretched hand, then socking her in the groin with a fierce straight punch. It's the Brit's turn to pounce to her feet, laughing maniacally as she does a little scuttle-step and then whips out a solid karate side kick, driving the speedster back into the middle of the ring. "WA-TAAA~!" Shrieks the hellish schoolgirl, pulling herself into a crane stance before skipping forward and kicking Oscura in the shins until she falls over. She grabs a handful of hair, holds up the adhesive hot pink nails on her left hand like five deadly razors, and employs them like claws, to the rookie's favorite face!

DICK DELAURIER: It was looking good for Pera's protégé, but they know how to build wicked brawlers in the United Kingdom. Sybil Smythe may be a nasty, rancid kind of woman, but she's also a wily veteran who knows how to get ahead.

FIONA METZ: Please. I bet she doesn't even know how to give head.

DICK DELAURIER: I'm not one to judge a book by its cover, but--

FIONA METZ: But she looks like a horrid slut? Dick, how could you.

DICK DELAURIER: I DIDN'T SAY THAT! Anyway, I thought you'd like her. Isn't she your type?

FIONA METZ: Sure, I guess she's a bit like PJ Lemon. If she was shit and had bad breath.

Araña is taking a battering, but she manages to wriggle herself into position to hit a smart, Pera-esque scissor-leg on her tormentor, plunging her face-first to the canvas, then leaping over to seize a headlock - not her forte, and she's struggling to keep it locked in, as Sybil (demonstrating immaculate core strength for such a sloppy bitch) manages to seize a counter-grip and surge with slow, ponderous power to her feet, breaking off the comeback with a big, messy back body drop that sets the ring to shuddering!

Oscura is winded, and tries to scramble, only to have her legs entwined, pulled into a sharp Indian deathlock, which is turned over into a Muta lock to a bit of a ripple through the crowd. Smythe has chops to back up her karate kicks, and Oscura is in trouble!

The official asks for the submission, and the plucky rookie shakes her head no, letting out a whimper as she surges for the bottom rope, missing it by an inch before she strives again - getting a finger so, so close... until Smythe spots her lingering hand. "I bloody SAID," she barks, twisting out of the hold momentarily to drag Araña back into the middle of the ring, "NO-- WHAT?!" Her authoritative tone turns to alarm, as Oscura uses the pressure shift to twist around, getting her hands flat to the canvas and erupting into an acrobatic up-kick that rebounds her into a flop, landing beside the ropes and pulling herself to her feet, breathing hard.

Sybil scrambles upright too, looking incensed, and charges in for a flurry of chops, but eats a twisting front kick to the midsection, teeped backwards with a snarl. She feints lunging in, and Oscura feints too - faking a second teep, only to bounce off the ropes into a beautiful spin, wiping the sneer off the brash Brit's lips with a SMASHING discus back elbow!

FIONA METZ: Say what you want about Araña Oscura, and I do, but she can take a licking.

DICK DELAURIER: I am not taking that bait.

FIONA METZ: Oh, please, I'm not always thinking about that.

DICK DELAURIER: Yes you are.

FIONA METZ: I really am.

Oscura looks to the crowd, who cheer her on, as she heads to the top rope, drawing in a slow breath and posing up there for a moment before shooting for a 450. Round and around she goes, to a pretty solid pop, and then a mighty groan from the same, disappointed lips as Super Sket rolls clean out of the way, giving another Camel-choking-camel laugh as she wriggles upright and bounces her hips from side-to-side, dancing like some kind of syphilitic Spice Girl for a bit as she watches Araña recover from her self-inflicted pain.

But only for a bit, because a moment later she's soccer kicking her right in the face, to another bellow of, "OGGY!"

"OIIIIIII!" Respond the crowd, just because it's fun to do, and Araña Oscura just looks betrayed as she's mounted by Smythe, who wastes little time in hammering her with clubbing blows, before spinning out into an armbar - with a twist, because sometime during the fracas she's wriggled a foot free from its boot, and rather than keep Oscura down with both legs, she jams the toes of one foot into her goddamn mouth. Betrayed was bad enough, but now the poor greenhorn looks like she's going to be sick...

FIONA METZ: Alright, that's kinda hot.

DICK DELAURIER: It very much is not.

There's a lot of sympathy going around, as everybody seems to forget that Araña Oscura, for all her trying to be good and just, was trained by a real bitch. She finally gets the pragmatic surge of inspiration to BITE DOWN, and Super Sket screams in-- well, it starts as pain, and then she's moaning and thrashing on the floor as Araña rips at her filthy foot like a rabid dog, wrenching it out of her mouth by force and then scrambling away as Super Sket lies there fanning herself. Oscura blanches, and asks for a water bottle from ringside. Kenny scrambles to provide, and she washes out her mouth, getting distracted by the process and almost not seeing that Smythe is up and slinking in behind her, juking this way and that, hands outstretched like talons.

The crowd cry out like it's a freaking pantomime, and Araña turns just in time to dodge a rake at her eyes, ducking under a second, then eating a knee to the jaw that almost crumples her. She stumbles, but turns it into a wild lurch beneath the psycho schoolgirl, coming up on the other side of the ring with her vision swimming and body struggling to remain conscious from the stiff-ass blow.

Sybil knows what she did, and she turns, licking her lips, holding up her hands to frame Oscura like a picture as she stumbles left and right, ready for a final, knockout blow. Smythe steps in, throws a jab, feints a left hook, then SPINS--

--into a searing knockout tornado kick that's probably won half a dozen karate championships. The crowd gasp! Araña drops under it by a whisker, tumbles, catches a leg on the rebounds and kicks into a somersault that brings her back to her feet behind Smythe. She's not looking at her opponent, as she straightens up, but at a colorful little bracelet on her wrist...

It seems like a distraction, but Araña Oscura is SMILING. She... she's got this?

Everybody is holding their breath, but a moment later, Oscura has spun her web - she seizes an arm, bends Sybil Smythe over in one of the very few ways she probably doesn't love, and sinks in - for the first time ever in RAZOR Wrestling - her finisher. Oscura's Web! The Octopus Hold is in deep-- but they're close to the ropes... Smythe can almost reach them, bending her least-trapped arm excruciatingly, the angle almost impossible. Almost...

WHAM! Oscura falls backwards, taking her opponent to the floor, still locked in the hold! Sybil Smythe IS FORCED TO TAP!

BIG MOUTH MINDY: Here is your winner, ARAÑA OSCURA!?

FIONA METZ: Yeah, Mindy, I'm as surprised as you are.

DICK DELAURIER: I can't say that I am. The former Destructora has been improving by leaps and bounds, in just a few short weeks we've started to believe - and so has she! Even without Peregrina Loca at her side, but keeping her in her heart, and remembering her lessons, Araña Oscura claims her first singles win and her first win in a row. This could be the start of something special.

FIONA METZ: It won't be.

DICK DELAURIER: You have not a single ounce of love in your heart.

FIONA METZ: Let me be proud of something, fuck.

Last Edit: Sept 23, 2023 19:20:39 GMT by Peregrina Loca

Persona Non Grata
New Member

Posts: 15

Shotgun Episode #7 Sept 23, 2023 20:10:00 GMT

Post by Persona Non Grata on Sept 23, 2023 20:10:00 GMT

We cut back to the ring from whatever dumb commercial GRBG would put before this to see the usual jobber entrance for a tag team. Their gimmick is clearly a relic of wrestling's past, back when being roided up to maximum deficiency and having enough head trauma to kill a Samoan was enough to make it somewhere.

BIG MOUTH MINDY: Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing first! From the Shetland Islands of Scotland…DANNY BOY JONES! DYNAMIC LAD! THE SHETLAAAAAAAND SHEEPDOGS!

These boys in their matching trunks are definitely some sort of relation to each other. The taller roid bomb is Danny Boy Jones. His hobbies include flexing his muscles, bogstandard promos that are occasionally hilarious, wearing all Scottish everything, and haphazardly fucking his way into a Canadian wrestling dynasty (literally). The shorter relation, Dynamic Lad, is known in the backstage of UWK for being a solid high flyer and even more so for being an absolute cuntbag.

…cuntbag? Well, it does sound like an insult a Engli-Scotti-Irish bloke would make up while piss drunk. Fuck it. Cuntbag stays. Go on, Mindy.

BIG MOUTH MINDY: They are joined by their mascot, BELINDA!

Belinda is a Shetland Sheepdog. No, really. She's a dog and the crowd actually pops for her because who wouldn't pop for a cute dog? She barks and wags her tail. Dynamic Lad quietly seethes in the corner, resisting the urge to berate her for taking his reaction. Years from now whenever his untimely demise hits the news and his liver has been mysteriously gnawed out, we have at least one suspect and she will suffer no consequences for it. But enough spoilers. Who's a good girl? You are! Oh, yes, you are! You're a good gir–

BIG MOUTH MINDY: OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. AGAIN?!?

While everybody was cooing at the dog, a ring lackey has slid into the ring and told Mindy something. You never needed a microphone to pick up what Mindy's say…wait. I think I wrote that before. Anyway, she tries to rub away a migraine before putting the mic to her lips.

BIG MOUTH MINDY: This match…IS FOR THE RAZOR WRESTLING TAG! TEAM! CHAMPIONSHIPS!

Oh, that's why she's reacting like that. Yes, despite the fact that they already have to defend their titles against the Shinigami Foundation, the champs have once again decided to be the fightingest of champions up in this bitch by offering up a charity shot on a Shotgun. Manchester pops! Danny Boy Jones flexes! Dynamic Lad has veins pulsating where there shouldn't be veins! Los Rebeldes is on their way, furry fugitive and all!

TAG TEAM MATCH

LOS REBELDES DEL BIEN vs. THE SHETLAND SHEEPDOGS

The match starts with Pedro Gonzales and Danny Boy Jones, mainly because Dynamic Lad is too busy seething to realize the bell has rung. Danny Boy starts like a house of fire with the purest of power moves imaginable for such a stronk and jacked man. But Pedro finds his tempo quickly and while he might not be quite as strong as Danny Boy, speed and smarts make up for the difference. After the eighth takedown hurricanrana in a row, Danny Boy finally gets the memo that maybe he needs to get out of the ring and tags in the Dynamic Lad.

The Lad, however, has other ideas. He immediately starts jabbering like Groundskeeper Willie on crack and points a finger at Persona Non Grata. Danny Boy tries to tell him that this is a bad idea. Lad tells him to feck off and starts snapping like a rabies infected wolverine. Considering Mestizo is here, that's kinda amazing, tbh. PNG unfolds his arms, bellows out a laugh, and nods at his leader. The tag is made.

Where as Pedro vs Danny Boy is a masterclass between power and speed, PNG vs Dynamic Lad is…well, that but late at night at a bar parking lot with two dudes that wanna scrap. Lad tries to play the same game Pedro did to his partner but around the third time, PNG countered it into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Dynamic Lad howls in pain. Belinda howls too because howling is fun. Hearing that, the Golden Emperor silently makes an oath to himself to turn the human howler's spine into breakfast cereal.

Like everything else in RAZOR, this match soon devolves into chaos. Pedro nearly wins with a pinfall, but Danny Boy hoots about his feet being on the ropes loud enough to be a distraction to everybody. The match even spreads to ringside as PNG and Mestizo does their Fastball Special against Dynamic Lad. Not one to be outdone, the Lad grabs Belinda by the scruff, muscles her up, and attempts to throw. That throw isn't the greatest. The poor puppy yelping from the effort did not help matters.

The crowd gasps. Pedro freezes in mid-punch. Danny Boy facepalms because even he knows that was a dumb idea. Whatever home field advantage the Sheepdogs has been obliterated. Not just because Dynamic Lad is a dick, but also because Los Rebeldes' mascot is riding the Sheepdog's mascot like a mighty steed to get revenge on the fool.

After the double mauling (triple if you count PNG's fists into the equation) on the outside and a four and a half star display of athleticism inside the ring, Los Rebeldes retains their tag team titles via a sneaky, cheeky roll up pin (officially) and a bone-into-cereal inducing powerbomb through the commentary table (unofficially).

FIONA METZ: Our fucking commentary table!

DICK DELAURIER: Indeed. We should start selling shirts that say "I SURVIVED A LOS REBELDES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS T-SHIRT".

FIONA METZ: In the case of those Shetland scrubs, they got a t-shirt, a voucher for rabies shots, and a discount backbrace.

BIG MOUTH MINDY: Here are your winners…AND STILL RAZOR WRESTLING TAG! TEAM! CHAMPIONS! Los Rrrrrrrrebeldeeeeees…DEL! BI! EN!

Jack McGrath
New Member

Posts: 19

Shotgun Episode #7 Sept 24, 2023 2:59:35 GMT

Post by Jack McGrath on Sept 24, 2023 2:59:35 GMT

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP

SINGLES MATCH

DICK DELAURIER: Listen to this crowd, Fiona! They are absolutely buzzing for the Main Event. This has been one hell of a show, and it’s going to be capped off with a RAZOR World Championship Title Match. “Patient Zero” Jack McGrath will be defending it against former 3x United Wrestling Kingdom Heavyweight Champion – Barbossa!

FIONA METZ: I slept with him on my 22nd birthday…

DICK DELAURIER: Okay… I’m ignoring that. Barbossa hasn’t competed professionally since he lost the title back in February of 2022, and the crowd has been anticipating his arrival all night!

The lights dim, and some shitty generic rock song blasts over the sound system. A mountain of a man stalks down the ramp, beating his chest wildly. The fans in attendance are chanting “BAR-BOS-SA!” in unison.

FIONA METZ: Connie Gibbs Arena is rocking, just like that time I –

DICK DELAURIER: I’m going to stop you right there.

“Juggernaut” by Cave In rips over the sound system, triggering the trio of Jack McGrath, Reid Ashford and Josh Mac to make their way down the entrance ramp. Enter: Contagion. The crowd is tearing into them, growing more and more aggressive as they get closer towards the ring. Barbossa is wildly demanding McGrath to enter the ring now. He’s ready to get this shit started.

DICK DELAURIER: The anticipation is going to blow the roof off! These English crowds are next level.

With McGrath in the ring now, Senior Referee Diego Leach rings the bell, and we’re finally underway! The crowd begins to once again chant “BAR-BOS-SA, BAR-BOS-SA!”. McGrath pays no attention, and begins circling his competitor. Both Mac and Reid are ringside, watching confidently.

The two tie up in the center of the ring, McGrath gets the upper hand, and whips him into the turnbuckle. As McGrath releases the larger man, Jack's knee suddenly buckles, and he falls to the ring mat, apparently in agonizing pain. Referee Diego Leach motions for Barbossa to stay in his corner, while Leach checks on McGrath. Within seconds Reid Ashford is up on the ring apron behind the former UWK Heavyweight Champion, and strikes him violently on the head multiple times with a straight razor!

DICK DELAURIER: OH, DEAR LORD!

Blood is everywhere and Barbossa is blinded. Diego Leach is in shock, confused how an irish whip into the turnbuckle could cause all of that bleeding. McGrath suddenly jumps to his feet and pounds his chest, mocking Barbossa. The Manchester crowd does not like what they’re witnessing.

FIONA METZ: I have a strong feeling that McGrath’s knee was just fine…

DICK DELAURIER: No shit. This is some bullshit!

McGrath charges towards Barbossa with a brutal lariat, spinning the big man like a record, baby. Barbossa is completely disoriented, and McGrath has the opening that he needs. He kicks him in the gut and drops him on his head with a cradle piledriver!

COLD SNAP!

DICK DELAURIER: What a nightmare for the fans in attendance! They’ve waited 18 months for Barbossa’s return, and now this!

Three count. Game over. 44 seconds after the opening bell.

BIG MOUTH MINDY: Here is your winner, and still WORLD CHAMPION... “PATIENT ZERO” JAAAAACK MCGRATH!

Josh Mac and Reid Ashford are laughing maniacally on the outside as the fans spew their hatred. The Referee raises the hand of Jack McGrath, and his first title defense is in the history books. McGrath is soaking it all in, without a care in the world, while the Manchester crowd continues to give them hell.

Last Edit: Sept 24, 2023 3:09:01 GMT by Jack McGrath

RAZOR
Administrator

Posts: 211

Shotgun Episode #7 Sept 24, 2023 22:38:21 GMT

Post by RAZOR on Sept 24, 2023 22:38:21 GMT

Quick Results:
• CØNTAGIØN vs. The Yokels never officially started.
• Saya Onikawa def. George; New KCW World Champion
• Adam García def. King Kaiden
• Araña Oscura def. Super Sket
• Los Rebeldes del Bien def. Shetland Sheepdogs; Still Tag Team Champions
• Jack McGrath def. Barbossa; Still World Champion