Queens to Las Vegas
May 26, 2023 13:05:45 GMT
Post by Murder Ninja on May 26, 2023 13:05:45 GMT
The journey from Queens to Las Vegas is long, lonely, and filled with mystery. Our hero has made this time a time or twelve, but this time… it's for a long time. The second generation daredevil called Murder Ninja has signed with Razor Wrestling, a promising upstart promotion located in, you guessed it, Las Vegas.
As he struggles to stay awake somewhere in Nebraska… or Indiana… or… wherever… his phone chimes and it's a call from the original Murder Ninja, a legend known to our hero as… dad. He answers the call, obviously…
[ninja] "Schorg's Morgue. You kill 'em, we fill 'em. This is Rick speaking. How can I help you?"
There is silence on the other end.
[ninja] "… dad?"
[dad] "Hey, pal. How's the road treating you?"
[ninja] "Desolate. Unforgiving. And I wouldn't have it any other way."
[dad] "You haven't called in, what, three weeks?"
[ninja] "I texted you a bunch of times, dad."
[dad] "That's not the same as a call, son."
[ninja] "Okay, boomer."
Again, silence.
[ninja] "… dad?"
[dad] "Hello? Okay, I can hear you now. Son, I know you're not a phone call guy but I… really need you to call once in a while. Your sister calls. Hell… even your brother calls…"
[ninja] "Which one?"
An even longer silence fills the air. This time, a sigh comes from the other end.
[dad] "Have you been taking your meds, Ricky? You know you can't go so long without–"
[ninja] "I'm fine, dad. I've got two refills left, and Dr. Royce spoke with some dude in Vegas. They used to work together or… something. I'll be fine. I promise."
[dad] "Okay, okay. I just… worry. You know?"
[ninja] "No need. I'm a grown ass man. I got this sweet gig with Razor Wrestling. It's going to be great. My first match is against this big, bad Russian dude. Ivan… something. I’ll know it when I see it. So, this dude… he’s big… and bad."
[dad] "You said that already."
[ninja] "I did? Huh. Okay. So… the last two weeks at Razor Wrestling… he got his clock cleaned by two girls. Now… you know I’m all for equal rights and feminism and intergender wrestling and–"
He stops when he hears an audible sigh from his father.
[ninja] "Right. Well, what I’m getting at… it doesn’t look good for him. He loses to two wrestlers half his size and… that makes him not look so big or bad. Ya know?"
[dad] "I get it. I used to watch your mom mollywhop jamokes from town to town. There weren’t nearly as many women wrestling at the time, so she had no choice but to take on the biggest… and the baddest… dudes in every town. In fact, that’s how we met."
[ninja] "I’m well aware, dad."
[dad] "Ah, yes. Well, tell me more about this Ivan character."
[ninja] "Dude is spooky. The kind of stuff I haven’t seen since…"
He hesitates to finish that sentence.
[dad] "Since me. I get it. Those were different times, and I did everything I could to keep you kids out of my world."
[ninja] "Look how well that worked out for us. Hah! So… this dude… Ivan–"
Before he can finish that sentence, an 18 wheeler drifts over into his lane and he swerves like heck, going to the shoulder of the road and doing everything in his power to not go into the ditch.
[dad] "Ricky?! RICKY!!"
He breathes heavily as he pulls the car over safely.
[ninja] "I’m okay dad. Everything is fine."
[dad] "Everything is NOT fine! What the FUCK was that?!"
[ninja] "A semi was coming into my lane and–"
[dad] "And… what?! You couldn’t react quick enough?! Are you high right now!?!? ANSWER ME!!!"
[ninja] "Jesus, dad! Relax!! I’ve been basically clean for a week!"
[dad] "Basically?! What does that mean?!"
[ninja] "I had a gummy the night before I left… but that was three days ago. I’m okay, dad. Really. I’m fine. The car is fine. Everything… is… fine."
He tries to remain calm, in an effort to ease his father’s worry.
[dad] "Okay. I’m sorry, son. I just–"
[ninja] "It’s okay. I know, dad. Listen. There’s a sign up ahead. Waffle House is the next exit. Youuuuu know I fucks with Waffle House. I’m going to grab a bite and rest a bit before the last leg of this trip. I’ll call you when I leave here."
[dad] "You’ll call… or text? Because I need you to–"
[ninja] "I’ll call, dad. I promise."
[dad] "Okay, okay."
[ninja] "I love you, da–"
His cell signal is lost.
[ninja]"Fucking T-Mobile."
Fade to red.
As he struggles to stay awake somewhere in Nebraska… or Indiana… or… wherever… his phone chimes and it's a call from the original Murder Ninja, a legend known to our hero as… dad. He answers the call, obviously…
[ninja] "Schorg's Morgue. You kill 'em, we fill 'em. This is Rick speaking. How can I help you?"
There is silence on the other end.
[ninja] "… dad?"
[dad] "Hey, pal. How's the road treating you?"
[ninja] "Desolate. Unforgiving. And I wouldn't have it any other way."
[dad] "You haven't called in, what, three weeks?"
[ninja] "I texted you a bunch of times, dad."
[dad] "That's not the same as a call, son."
[ninja] "Okay, boomer."
Again, silence.
[ninja] "… dad?"
[dad] "Hello? Okay, I can hear you now. Son, I know you're not a phone call guy but I… really need you to call once in a while. Your sister calls. Hell… even your brother calls…"
[ninja] "Which one?"
An even longer silence fills the air. This time, a sigh comes from the other end.
[dad] "Have you been taking your meds, Ricky? You know you can't go so long without–"
[ninja] "I'm fine, dad. I've got two refills left, and Dr. Royce spoke with some dude in Vegas. They used to work together or… something. I'll be fine. I promise."
[dad] "Okay, okay. I just… worry. You know?"
[ninja] "No need. I'm a grown ass man. I got this sweet gig with Razor Wrestling. It's going to be great. My first match is against this big, bad Russian dude. Ivan… something. I’ll know it when I see it. So, this dude… he’s big… and bad."
[dad] "You said that already."
[ninja] "I did? Huh. Okay. So… the last two weeks at Razor Wrestling… he got his clock cleaned by two girls. Now… you know I’m all for equal rights and feminism and intergender wrestling and–"
He stops when he hears an audible sigh from his father.
[ninja] "Right. Well, what I’m getting at… it doesn’t look good for him. He loses to two wrestlers half his size and… that makes him not look so big or bad. Ya know?"
[dad] "I get it. I used to watch your mom mollywhop jamokes from town to town. There weren’t nearly as many women wrestling at the time, so she had no choice but to take on the biggest… and the baddest… dudes in every town. In fact, that’s how we met."
[ninja] "I’m well aware, dad."
[dad] "Ah, yes. Well, tell me more about this Ivan character."
[ninja] "Dude is spooky. The kind of stuff I haven’t seen since…"
He hesitates to finish that sentence.
[dad] "Since me. I get it. Those were different times, and I did everything I could to keep you kids out of my world."
[ninja] "Look how well that worked out for us. Hah! So… this dude… Ivan–"
Before he can finish that sentence, an 18 wheeler drifts over into his lane and he swerves like heck, going to the shoulder of the road and doing everything in his power to not go into the ditch.
[dad] "Ricky?! RICKY!!"
He breathes heavily as he pulls the car over safely.
[ninja] "I’m okay dad. Everything is fine."
[dad] "Everything is NOT fine! What the FUCK was that?!"
[ninja] "A semi was coming into my lane and–"
[dad] "And… what?! You couldn’t react quick enough?! Are you high right now!?!? ANSWER ME!!!"
[ninja] "Jesus, dad! Relax!! I’ve been basically clean for a week!"
[dad] "Basically?! What does that mean?!"
[ninja] "I had a gummy the night before I left… but that was three days ago. I’m okay, dad. Really. I’m fine. The car is fine. Everything… is… fine."
He tries to remain calm, in an effort to ease his father’s worry.
[dad] "Okay. I’m sorry, son. I just–"
[ninja] "It’s okay. I know, dad. Listen. There’s a sign up ahead. Waffle House is the next exit. Youuuuu know I fucks with Waffle House. I’m going to grab a bite and rest a bit before the last leg of this trip. I’ll call you when I leave here."
[dad] "You’ll call… or text? Because I need you to–"
[ninja] "I’ll call, dad. I promise."
[dad] "Okay, okay."
[ninja] "I love you, da–"
His cell signal is lost.
[ninja]"Fucking T-Mobile."
Fade to red.