too MANY tables

The steaks have never been higher. No, not the "stakes". The actual steaks. The man called Murder Ninja is taking liberties with the "All You Can Eat Buffet" at the inevitably condemned Level Up Casino. Anyway. There he is, with a stack of steaks so high that he can't see his partner on the other side.

[joi] "Even though I'm not vegan anymore… that is still just… disgusting."

[ninja] "It's the bessssst! Ol' boy was mean muggin' me the whole time, which somehow makes it taste better."

[joi] "Spite eating. You never cease to amaze me."

[ninja] "Aww. Thanks, babe."

[joi] "Oh. Your sister texted me an update on your dad and–"

[ninja] "Hol' up. You and my sister text now, huh?"

[joi] "You take forever to respond. So… he's out of the woods for now after the heart attack and they've got him set up at his cabin upstate."

He chuckles.

[ninja] "He's out of the woods and… also in the woods. Good shit."

[joi] "Are you going to take this seriously?"

[ninja] "Joi, you don't know this… but my dad has survived worse tragedies in his life. A heart attack is like a cake in the park for him."

[joi] "A cake… in the park?"

[ninja] "Yeah. It's a classic phrase. You've never heard it?"

[joi] "Not like that. No."

[ninja] "I could go for some cake right now."

[joi] "Even after all of… that?"

She looks at the heaping stack of steak that he's working on.

[ninja] "I'm indestructible."

Your dad isn't.

[ninja] "What?!"

…

The man called Murder Ninja and his lady friend are chillin' outside of Sonam Lanka's Event Rental Palace, where a meet and greet banner hangs on a table in front of them. Two sad lookin' wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men jaggedly dance on either side of the table.

[joi] "I don't think anyone else is coming."

[ninja] "The five dudes who showed up were cool but… this fuckin' sucks. I expected more for a meet and greet with the first ever RAZOR Wrestling GRBG Champion."

[joi] "You haven't won the title yet."

[ninja] "Keyword: yet. It's inevitable. From the moment I arrived in Las Vegas, I have absorbed the culture of this magic land. The sights, the sounds, the smells. I have become something desirable to an audience with my cool flippy shit and my unwavering spirit. These people need me… and I'm going to give 'em all I've got. Winning that title is only a formality at that point. Just look around us. These tube men are sad… and defeated. They need a hero. They're holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night. He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast, and he's gotta be fresh from the fight."

Shoutout Bonnie Tyler.

[ninja] "I may not be the hero this city wants… but I'm damn sure the hero it deserves. As I heard one dude say… Las Vegas is filled with scum bags. Soon enough, I will be crowned king of them. The World Championship is a consolation prize. That GRBG Championship is where it's really at. That's the one with all eyes on it. Billions of 'em. Soon, they'll all be watching--"

They are interrupted by some AV nerd from RAZOR Wrestling. The man called Murder Ninja was double booked today, and was supposed to be in the studio for some content about his upcoming match against Jack McGrath. When he notices the red light on the camera, he goes right to work.

[ninja] "We are not the same, Jack. You took your sweet time getting to this city because you're afraid to fly… and I made it my life's mission to storm the gates and take this city by storm. So far, you've played it safe… and kept things at an even keel. That's not at all what I'm about… and that's been pretty clear since my debut at RAZOR Wrestling. While you and many here are fifty shades of green in this business… I was born into this. I was running the ropes before I was even potty trained. I have sacrificed everything to be where I'm at… and I'm not done taking what's mine."

He takes a hit of his vape pen.

[ninja] "I'll be real as fuck with you. I remember seeing your clip, Jack. The one of you recklessly putting that dude through a table. That was gross… and you had no business doing a spot you weren't ready for, dude. You punched above your weight class, so to speak… and here you are… doubling down on being a walking insurance claim. Now, I do a lot of crazy shit in and around the ring… but I'm a professional. Like, a real one. Not just a guy who did the same song and dance every third Saturday at a bingo hall in Boston. I'm a legacy… and you're about to feel the full force of my power."

Another hit.

[ninja] "The thing we do have in common is the relationship with our fathers. They look out for us, even though we're grown ass men. They want what's best for us in our careers and in our life. The difference between us in all of that is my career is my life. I have become it and it has become me. While you're shy to take chances, I'm ready for war. Jack, the beef you've had so far with Daisy Dukes is nothing compared to what's in store for you when we lock eyes in that squared circle. Unlike your stupid viral clip, Jack… there will be too many tables in this match… provided by Sonam Lanka's Event Rental Palace. It doesn't matter how many of 'em break… not a damn one of 'em will break me, dude."

Another hit.

[ninja] "Nothing is more important to me at this moment than that GRBG Championship."

Long, dramatic stare into the camera.

[ninja] "Nothing."

Fade to red.